


Farewell

by idothatoutside



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate History, M/M, Reincarnation, gerita - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6733216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idothatoutside/pseuds/idothatoutside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of World War II took a heartbreaking amount of lives, including those of Germany, Prussia, Japan, and the Italy brothers. But nearly a hundred years later, two college professors find themselves drawn to one another. And neither Ludwig nor Feliciano can place exactly why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a transcript of a roleplay that we are doing. Though I (ToniArkens) usually follow a specific set of rules for my stories, those are pretty much out the window here. There's no telling how long each chapter will be, and due to the fact that the roleplay is still ongoing, there is no specific update schedule. How's this going to end? Your guess is as good as mine.

**_A Brief History_ **

 

3 September 1939: Britain and France declare war on Germany. America claims that he is not getting involved, but it’s pretty clear whose side he’s on.

 

27 September 1940: The Tripartite Pact is signed by Italy, Japan, and Germany. Italy makes dinner to celebrate.

 

_ 9 October 1940: China finds himself remembering talking to a young Japan about the Red String of Fate. _

 

10 June 1940: Italy attacks France. It goes surprisingly well. He will never hear the end of it from Britain.

 

18 July 1940: America’s boss is reelected for a third term. The Allies keep getting letters along the lines of, “this guy is totes awesome, bro”. They try to get him to shut up about it. It fails.

 

20 July 1940: Italy finds a stray dog. Germany doesn’t let him keep it.

 

17 August 1941: America tells Japan to stop being an asshole or else face his wrath. Japan does not feel threatened.

 

7 December 1941: Japan ambushes America in Hawaii. 

 

11 December 1941: America finally has had enough and declares war on the Axis. The Allies are glad to have another member, but not so thrilled that it’s  _ him _ of all people.

 

25 December 1941: Italy sneaks out at midnight Christmas Eve with a box of biscotti, a rose, and a bottle of wine. He leaves the box and rose in the woods as a gift for Holy Rome, then watches the snow fall until sunrise. Germany wants to ask about the frozen tears on his face when he returns, but struggles to figure out how.

 

31 January 1943: Russia captures Germany after a failed invasion. When he finally escapes, he is badly beaten. It takes several days for him to fully heal.

 

_ 8 September 1943: Italy surrenders once and for all. He refuses to fight, but still lives with Germany. Romano does as well, just to make sure his brother is safe. Not that he’d admit it. _

 

_ 13 October 1943: Italy declares war on Germany after discovering all the terrible things their bosses have been doing. He doesn’t speak at all during Allied meetings, and doesn’t eat during their lunch breaks, even when they specifically serve his favorite dishes.  _

 

2 May 1945: Germany surrenders to the Allied Forces.

 

6 August 1945: America attacks Japan, who is left in critical condition.

 

9 August 1945: America attacks Japan again.

 

10 August 1945: Badly injured, Japan surrenders to the Allied Forces.

 

11 August 1945: Discussions begin about what to do with the defeated Axis countries.

 

_ 14 October 1945: The Allies inform the Italy Brothers that because of their previous actions, they will still be considered responsible for the events in the war. _

 

_ 15 October 1945: Italy begins trying to convince the Allies to spare the others and punish just him instead. France is the only one who bothers to even listen. _

 

_ 6 November 1945: Romano has accepted his fate. _

 

_ 25 November 1945: The people of the world are beginning to ask questions about why no action has been taken. _

 

_ 2 January 1946: Out of options and facing major worldwide revolts, the countries decide to reveal their existence to the public, something that has been kept a close secret for thousands of years. _

 

_ 10 February 1946: The Allies announce that they have made a decision. The Axis countries will be executed within the month. _

 

_ 15 February 1946: Italy continues begging the Allies to spare his friends. Germany overhears this. It breaks his heart even more than Italy’s betrayal. _

 

_ 25 February 1946: The execution is held. Prussia, Japan, Italy, Romano, and Germany are all killed. _

 

_ 27 February 1946: Finalizations are made regarding what Allied countries get what land. Prussia and Germany become known as the _ _ The French-English Palatine of Germania _ _ , Japan the American Japanese Islands, and Italy the Italian Republic of Russia. China takes back what was his in the first place, just wanting to go home. Canada doesn’t get offered anything, but doesn’t  _ _ speak up. _

 

_ 31 January 1947: Citizens of the former Axis countries express their concerns regarding discrimination and oppression. These statements go ignored. _

 

_ 12 July 1968: The Mafia declares that their main goal will now be to restore honor back to the Italian people. Their methods, however, remain morally questionable at best. _


	2. Hands Touch, Eyes Meet

Professor Ludwig Beilschmidt: A rather intimidating man who always seemed to be in 'teacher' mode. Although strict, his teaching style proved to be very thorough, and even a student who had no interest in chemistry found themselves scurrying to finish the lab he had assigned. His strapping physique led many to believe that he served in the military, in recon, or was an ex-con. However, no one had the guts to ask. However, one student swore that while Professor Beilschmidt was fixing his, tie they saw a glint of metal that looked to be dog tags. 

 

Despite his rugged exterior, on near holidays, Ludwig was known to bring baked goods for all his classes, which were famed for their delectable flavor. Some students would even take the class just for his sweets. But if Ludwig ever found out… well, let’s just say the student would get more than just a no sweets penalty. 

 

Of course, the most interesting thing about him was his voice. He spoke perfect English, yet there was a definite undertone of a heavy accent. Along with his name, it was easy to guess where he came from. The Palatine of Germania, owned by both France and England. It was formerly known as Germany, but was taken over after the events of World War II. The former country was mostly comprised of French and English settlers, however a very small portion of Germania still had pockets of original German people. Those territories, however, were small and the equivalent of Native American reservations. 

 

No one knew why Ludwig came to the United States. The rumor mill certainly spilled out a plethora of answers, but none of them could be confirmed. Currently, Ludwig was just about finished setting up the latest machine that the University bought him as part of a science grant. Popping the instruction manual in the inner pocket of his lab coat, he checked off all the supplies he was also granted on his clipboard. Once he triple checked all the machinery, Ludwig deemed it suitable for him to grab his suitcase and head home. He had chores to do, not to mention feeding his brother and going on his nightly run. 

 

Ludwig was just about to lock up his classroom when he remembered the cupcakes sitting on his desk, sheathed in a surprisingly cute, pink plastic container. He almost forgot that he was supposed to drop that off at the music department. They were holding this huge bake sale to raise money for a music program that involved under privileged kids learning how to play instruments for free. Ludwig was, of course, happy to bake for such a cause. He was never a music player himself, but he would never back down from a bake sale for a charity. Ludwig might have overdid himself though, for not only did he make a massive amount of cupcakes, but each of them were made to perfection and topped with a small treble clef made out of fondant. His brother, per usual, managed to devour twenty of the cupcakes before Ludwig had to physically restrain him. 

 

Picking up the plastic container, Ludwig made his way to the music department. He may have been a man of science, but he did enjoy music. Even though his music taste was what his brother called ‘old fart music’. Really, he had no idea how Gilbert listened to that god awful heavy metal. Out of all the choices he made in his life, the one he regretted the most was buying Gilbert that surround sound for his birthday. His brother would turn up the volume so high the house would shake. It was bad enough with that band of his...The Bad Touch Trio or whatever it was called… that didn’t stop him from attending each of their concerts, though. 

 

Nearing the music department, Ludwig racked his brain for the room number he was supposed to drop the cupcakes at. The lady who asked him to provide baked goods didn’t give any specifics on where he needed to drop them off at. “Guess I’ll just ask one of the teachers in some random room.” he grumbled to himself. 

 

On the first floor of the building, fate was about to work its magic.

 

Crescendo, key change, staccato, ritardando, to coda, do it again. 

 

Honestly, this was his favorite piece to conduct, even if it was clear that his students weren't overly fond of it. One hand tapping out the bass line on the piano-- Honestly, did they ever take it in when he taught them?-- the other was keeping time. Thirty-six young men and women were glancing down at their sheet music whenever they felt the notes or lyrics slipping from their memories. 

 

For Feliciano Vargas, this was certainly a change. He was, of course, only there temporarily while the usual professor was on maternity leave. And to say that he was used to this entire concept would be a lie. Really, he'd just taken the job because he'd needed the money. It had only been a few days, but honestly? It was kind of growing on him. He'd always loved music, and the kids seemed to hold a great deal of respect for him. Maybe not as much as he'd have liked, but some, at least. 

 

"Okay, that's time." Taking a peek at the clock, he offered a smile as the students began packing up their music. "Men, we start with you on Thursday. And remember to bring in your first payment for competition." 

 

No one responded.

 

All right, last class of the day done, and no office hours until tomorrow. So all he had to do was stop for groceries, run by Lovino's, and-- 

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts as he caught sight of a figure just inside the doorway. Tall, well-built, actually pretty intimidating. Certainly not the kind of man one would want to run into in the middle of the night. And yet, not someone he would immediately run from without a reason, either. "Can I help you?" American accent having been perfected, his words came smoothly to those who were born there. To him, however, it all still sounded too choppy, too forced. But for his own benefit, it would be best to hide that.

 

Ludwig had picked a random room number and marched right in. He was met with a couple lingering students packing up their music and...and… 

  
For some reason, it felt like his stomach turned to ice. His throat become heavy along with his chest. The man sitting on the bench to the piano looked...painfully familiar. His auburn hair and shining amber eyes filled him with nostalgia. He was unable to tear his gaze away from the man.


	3. A Sense of Expectation

It took a moment before he noticed what the man was carrying. "Oh! those are for the fundraiser, right?" Nice assumption, Feliciano. Watch it not be true. 

 

A faint vibration from his briefcase, and a quick glance at his phone told him that it was Lovino. Probably telling him that he'd better not come by tonight or else he's enact some threat or another. That was how it usually went.

 

As he stood, Feliciano was quick to begin putting his sheet music away. "Dr Murphy's office is 304, she's the one collecting it all. Do you know where it is?" 

 

Perhaps he was being too cheerful, smiling too wide. Perhaps his accent was starting to drip through, just a little. None of it was true, of course, but that nagging 'What if' sensation never left him. No one could know, no one could suspect. He'd gotten lucky, Vargas being a Spanish surname. But his given name, that was another issue altogether. One he was far from ready to face. 

 

Another vibration of his phone, and this time he looked at the message. It was nothing but a photo of his brother's middle finger. Nice.

 

The man's words passed right through one ear and out the other. Ludwig was too wrapped up in sorting his memories out one by one to see if he met this guy before. Maybe he just had one of those faces…. But then again, he'd never reacted so oddly like that. He spent a minute or two silently gripping the cupcake container and watching the other fiddle with his phone before realizing that he was standing in the doorway carrying a pink plastic cupcake holder and gaping like he just saw a bomb go off. If Gilbert was there he would have been laughing his ass off. 

 

Managing to shake himself out of his stupor, Ludwig cleared his throat, as he was feeling rather choked up. "Ah yes the bake sale...I um, sorry it's been a long day...." His accent gushed out more than normally given his flustered disposition. 

 

Walking up to the gentleman he decided to stop this foolishness and remember his manners. His briefcase was lowered to the ground to free up space in his right hand. Holding his hand up so the other could shake it Ludwig introduced himself. "My name is Professor Ludwig Beilschmidt, it's a pleasure to meet you.”

 

Now there was an accent he hadn't heard in a long time. One he'd actually never expected, or necessarily wanted, to hear again. But no, all that was in the past. This was a new start. A new life, so to speak. Though obviously not in the literal sense. That would be ridiculous. 

 

Right. Focus. "Feli Vargas." Not his full name. Never his full name. "Pleasure's mine." He pushed a strand of hair out of his face before accepting the handshake, which he quickly noticed was far stronger than his. This all seemed... too formal. This wasn't how he usually acted, so why now? Why him?

 

Feli Vargas…. The name was almost unnervingly familiar. The last name was Spanish, but he couldn’t pinpoint the first. God, today he was getting a bout of deja vu. Maybe he should take his brother's advice and go see that VA psychologist. No, no, he wasn't crazy. Hell, he didn't even need one when he got a limb blown off. No matter how much they pressured him, he wouldn't even see the damn shrink. Well okay, he saw him and exchanged pleasantries, but he made it clear that he was perfectly fine. No matter how much the shrink prodded, he got nothing of him. Ludwig was a rather private person. Call it paranoia from working in the military, but Ludwig tended to keep his personal life under lock and key. 

 

“I hope I didn't interrupt anything. If it's not to much trouble, I would greatly appreciate it if you showed me where the room is. I haven't ventured into the music department that much. I'm usually stationed in the science department." 

 

"Yeah, I can show you. I've got to go by there on my way out, anyway." Another smile, eyes nearly closed as he did so. He closed and secured his briefcase, did a quick scan around the room to be sure nothing had been left there, and nodded to himself. Not bad. Three days on the job, and nothing was broken, stolen, or on fire. Now this, this was something to be proud of.

 

Behind the hard leather of his steel toed boots, Ludwig’s foot twitched, a common sign of his nervousness. He never got nervous, he had long stopped entertaining that cumbersome emotion. Nervousness on the battlefield was a one way ticket to death, and Ludwig needed to get Gilbert through highschool and college before croaking. However, this wasn’t the battlefield, and this was just a teacher he was introducing himself to. So why was he so goddamn twitchy?

 

Should he have noticed just how nervous Ludwig was? Probably. But he had never been one for detecting those small details, not in social situations, anyway. It was one of his unfortunate downfalls. His paintings, sure, those sometimes sold for a pretty penny. But things like this, forget about it. He he headed toward the door, Feliciano gestured for Ludwig to follow. "So, have you been teaching here long?" Smalltalk. Great. How awful.

 

When Feli took his hand his throat became heavy again. Underneath his large calloused hand Mr. Vargas’s was so tiny and warm. He had to be careful not to grip to hard or else he would have crushed it. "Thank you Mr. Vargas, and sorry for the inconvenience." he told him while following out the door. "I've worked here for eight years. The pay's good and the hours are decent. A lot less sporadic than my last job. I've always favored the punctual nature of teaching." he then informed him. Ludwig kept it short and vague, but not vague enough to arouse suspicion. 

 

"I don't think I've ever met you before." Lies. "Are you new to Gauken University?" Small talk usually came to Ludwig easily, but as of then it was seriously taking its toll on him. Perhaps it was the dull ache of the stump that held his prosthetic, his stump always got sore on rainy days, phantom pains were well a pain in the ass to deal with.

 

Feliciano only shrugged off the apology in order to tell him that it was no trouble. As he'd said, he had to walk by there, anyway. "No, I started Monday. I'm just filling in." Did he roll his R too much? Were the T's too pronounced? No, stop. It was fine. "I don't even know why they gave me the job. I think they were desperate." Wait, shit. Shit, too much information. 

 

"Nonsense. The school is approaching Ivy League territory. You had the credentials, and thus they selected you. Don't sell yourself short, Mr. Vargas, they have a lot of options when it comes to who to employ. They selected you because you fit their expectations." Okay wow, where did that come from? Like a lion stalking his prey, he pounced at the chance to defend Feli. Just hearing him put himself down like that made him angry. When it came to the army, underconfidence was just was bad as overconfidence. Both of which he couldn't stand.

 

Mentally, Feliciano was still panicking from his slip-up. Fix it. Now. Change the subject. 

 

Still too stiff. 

 

"You teach science, you said? What subject?" There. Good save. "That was never my strong point. I tried in college, but." He only shrugged. "My biology major was getting me nowhere, so I switched to work on an art degree." 

 

Still too formal. 

 

The way their footsteps echoed in the halls, through the thinning crowds. The way they both seemed... not uncomfortable around one another, but something else, something he couldn't quite explain. Why was Ludwig so obviously nervous? It wasn't his place to be prying into matters like that. People had rough days, that was nothing new. Or maybe he had some kind of anxiety disorder. That wasn't out of the question, either. Whatever it was, it wasn't any of his business. Everyone had secrets to keep, stories to hide. Pasts to lock away in shadow.

 

Glad that Feli continued on with the small talk Ludwig decided that Mr. Vargas was a very pleasant individual. His nervousness was dissolving though the phantom pains continued. 

 

Perhaps he did need to relax, Gilbert was always nagging him about how high strung he was and he did have a fair amount of vacation days stored away. Maybe it was time to well… take some time off. His nerves sure could use it… but no. Ludwig was never one for relaxing, there was always so much to do. Today was just a bad day, with the phantom pains and dreams he'd been getting. He'd just have to ignore them and focus on work like usual. 

 

Chemicals were easy to work with, so predictable. But people, it took Ludwig years of training to learn when a man was about to break, and when they were prepared to die. Mr. Vargas, although kind, looked to be hiding something. Though he didn't seem hostile or malicious, so he didn't have anything to worry about… for now. "I teach Chemistry, from chemicals to formulas, they're all so precise, sometimes I spend hours reading up on chemical formulas. I suppose I admire Chemistry's consistency." 

 

Feliciano gave a slight nod, smiling a bit. This felt like a good day. He couldn't place his finger on why, but it just had that good day feeling to it. 

 

Until, of course, everything went to hell.

 

They were right near the room now. Walking ahead Ludwig placed the container on her desk and walked back to Feli. "Thank you for-" a sharp pain stopped his thanks mid sentence.


	4. Angel of Music

With pain came memories. An explosions of gunfire, screams, tears, and grenades came barreling toward him. His jaw clenched tight while he gritted his teeth. He was in a catastrophic amount of pain, but wouldn't let it show. Stabs racked Ludwig’s leg, practically frying his nerves. "Shit!" he growled as he placed his hand on the wall for support, dropping his suitcase so he could clench where flesh met prosthetic.

 

Panic in his eyes, heart pounding. "Ludwig!" Rushing to his side, he didn't bother with formalities. "I-- What's wrong, are you okay?! Should I get someone?! I don't know what to do, they never trained me for something like this, I never even thought I would be a professor or a teacher or anything, well I mean unless you count me dealing with my brother, but that hardly requires people telling you what to do in a situation like this, he has his issues, sure but at least I have a general idea what to expect between his condition and his dick personality, but here I have nothing!" Words coming quickly, almost running together. Shit, what was happening? Was there anything he could do? Call someone, help him sit down? There was something wrong with his leg, that much was clear. But how the hell was he supposed to help a man he knew next to nothing about? 

 

To say that he kept a clear head in times of crisis was, obviously, a lie. His immediate reaction was always panic now, think later. And it was probably because of this response that without even being aware of it, he was letting his false accent dwindle just a little more with every word, until any hint of the American was gone.

 

None of this was registered. Open fire rained on them like a hurricane. Screams coated the entire area while souls were ripped out of their bodies right in front of him. Ludwig's muscles burned like hell but that didn't stop him from running at top speed. Mud kicked up at his heels coating him in a mix of dirt and blood but that didn't slow him down. Shoot, duck, survive were what his basic instincts were telling him. Anything that had the damn Nazi symbol was shot at, no hesitation.

 

A millisecond too late, a bullet grazed him before he had time to slide under for cover. Thanks to the adrenaline, he didn't feel it and shot the assailant. He didn't even feel the rain pelting at his ragged form. A couple of soldiers were beside him, taking cover behind the overturned crates. 

 

"Sergeant, I've got confirmation from bravo, mission alpha is reaching endpoint," he huffed. Ludwig could have kissed the man if he wasn't to busy scanning the area for any enemy ambushes. That meant they almost reached the head honcho of this operation, the base to the deck of cards. Once he took the out the 'new fuhrer’, the rising terrorist organization, AKA Nazi 2.0, would be wiped out for good give or take the few splinter groups. This group was certainly not as bad as World War II, not by a long shot. But someone had to take care of them before they did any real damage. 

 

Nearing the building, Ludwig leaned against the wall with his gun pointing toward the sky. This was it. Disarm if possible but if unable to extermination of the target is acceptable. Deep breathe, no hesitation...and...now! 

 

With the speed of a swooping eagle, Ludwig kicked down the door of the safe house and shot at the 'new fuhrer.' He hit him right in the chest, a lethal shot that would no doubt... . Ludwig didn't have time to register the bomb strapped to the new fuhrer's chest. No time at all. 

 

Wait, he wasn't on the battlefield. He was in a field that was flourishing with all kinds of different flora. The sky was a pure blue and fat white clouds rolled by. He was facing someone, a small person wearing what he assumed was a maid uniform. They had the warmest smile on their face as they held out their hand for him to grab. They looked so inviting, their grasp, this place, it was all so….

 

“Ludwig!”

 

It felt as though his body was smashed against a cement wall when he brought himself back to reality. Or should he say, when Mr. Vargas brought him back to reality. Ludwig's breath was labored as though he ran a marathon. But luckily, the phantom pains were gone, leaving behind faint memories and an exhausted German. 

 

The first words he spoke were ones he never thought he'd say. "Gottverdammt Feli, stop sputtering! Your Italian accent is making it impossible to understand, just slow down and think of cats or sleeping naked in your front yard or whatever your happy place consists of!" Ludwig then slid down the wall and leaned his head back, trying to reassess himself.

 

He froze, at first because of the outburst. He'd always been like that when he was nervous, and this had been no exception. Apparently it wasn't the proper response. But then the words registered, mainly the second part. Only then did he recall his own voice, what it had sounded like. No, no, he'd always been so careful, why had he slipped today? 

 

Once he pulled himself back, he was silent as he took a seat against the wall beside him, never making eye contact. This wasn't the best idea, he knew. They'd only just met, and now that Ludwig knew he was Italian, there was no telling how he would react. 

 

Something in the pit of his stomach told him that it wouldn't be good. 


	5. Not While I’m Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google Translate, don't fail me now.
> 
> It probably did

Gaze never leaving the floor, Feliciano opened his briefcase, grabbing a bottle of water out of it-- The plastic a bit crushed, briefcases aren't that big, after all, especially when they're filled with fifty odd copies of music-- and offered the drink to his companion. Still, he never spoke. Could he lie? Say it had just been Ludwig's imagination? No, that was stupid. Wasn't it? Yes, of course it was. Italians weren't very common outside the small communities in The RRI, it was likely he was the first one Ludwig had ever come in contact with. 

 

So he sat there, water in his hand and fear in his heart, both of which were trembling like the frightened baby squirrel Lovino had found when they were children. Dammit, Lovino. He had to get over there. Or-- No, that could wait. His brother didn't even want him there, anyway. This first. Make sure Ludwig was okay.

 

His body was slowly unwinding. There was no need to be tense, he wasn't on the field, this wasn't some recon mission. He was on the cold tile floor of the university he worked at. His name was Ludwig Beilschmidt, and he was not dodging enemy bullets. He was not feeling the kick of his gun when he fired, and he was not getting blown to pieces. God, he wanted to see Gilbert, to make sure he was safe. 

 

With his hands planted on the ground, he lifted himself up and absent mindedly accepted the water from whatever god was sitting next to him. Ludwig drained the bottle in under a minute, quenching his thirst and the dryness of his throat. The empty bottle made that horrible crunching sound as he crushed it beneath his grip and tossed it to one side. It was a little weird. Well, this whole situation was a lot of weird, but given the circumstances Ludwig should have been mortified and profusely apologizing to Feli. But… he was too tired for that. It was like all the stress that clambered on top of him throughout the years was finally catching up to him. Even though he couldn't muster anything up besides a vague numb feeling, he had to at least try to break the silence. 

 

"A thanks is in order, but I'm not in the right mind to properly thank you...dinner tomorrow night, my house, if that's acceptable. A sort of ‘sorry for making you witness one of my episode's dinner.’ I promise to explain at my house what all that was about. The floor to a University is hardly a place to discuss a topic like that," Ludwig suggested, a small blush painting his cheeks. Okay there it is, that fluttery feeling of...embarrassment? That sure didn't feel like embarrassment.

 

Accepting the offer was probably even worse of an idea than just sitting next to him. But if he prepared himself... then everything would be fine, right? 

 

Feliciano forced a smile, hoping that it looked genuine as he put the American accent back in place. "Yeah. Sure, that sounds great." Dear Lord, he was so scared. They both were, probably, and for different reasons. All these years, and everything could crumble around him. All he'd worked for, all he'd managed to do. Gone. 

 

Dammit, Vargas, stop thinking only about yourself. Back into the briefcase, pulling out a sheet of music that he had been planning on teaching the choir. Richard Marx's 'This I Promise You'. A good song. "Here." He scribbled out a quick note. "I'm going to be staying at my brother's house for a while, so this is his address. But he's in the process of moving, so it will change pretty soon." 

 

Was it really a good idea, putting Lovino at risk like that? Well, he wasn't going to give him his phone number. That could be used for tracking purposes, and-- No. Stop. That was bordering paranoia levels. But better safe than sorry, right? That was what this was, right? 

 

Getting to his feet, he offered another smile as he held out his hand to help the other up. "What time should I be ready?"

 

Feli seemed nervous, scared even. Though that could be attributed to Ludwig's little stunt he pulled. His nerves were probably shot, it's not everyday you see someone almost pass out because of phantom pains…. Or it was because of his little facade was dismantled? Really, Ludwig didn't think anything of it. Hell, when Gilbert started school, he made sure to talk to the staff beforehand to make sure there wasn't going to be any problems. Well, more like threatened, but point being he understood his reasoning. Ludwig wasn't one to pry into anyone's business, he was too busy to really care about others’ personal matters. The minute he heard the odd American accent dwindle down into a full blown Italian accent, he knew what was up. He didn't bring it up, because it wasn't any of his business. However, maybe he would need to at some point, Feli looked absolutely stricken despite that pleasant mask he sported. This may make the dinner a bit awkward if he didn't’ say anything about it. Pursing his lips Ludwig took the paper, folded it into his coat pocket, and thanked Feli for the hand as he pulled himself up. 

 

"Around six if that's acceptable, I'll come by around that time to pick you up," Ludwig informed him. "I hope you like wurst." Generally Ludwig's meals were high in protien, as he was an adult man who kept a strict workout routine and he had to feed his younger brother, who was a teenager with the energy levels of a nuclear reactor. Ludwig was always buying food, and whenever he was cooking Gilbert was going through his second bag of chips. Gilbert ate like crazy, yet always stayed lanky no matter how hard Ludwig tried to bulk him up. It sometimes worried Ludwig how lanky he was. Well, he was worried about Gilbert all the time, but that was a percent of the concern.

 

And now...he was worried about Feli. 

 

The small man was obviously nervous as hell. Being a German and a reasonable person, Ludwig was the last person who would discriminate against him but he was probably to scared to think of that. 

 

Slowly putting a hand on his shoulder, using the softest grip he could do, Ludwig tried to comfort the shaken Italian. "Feli don't worry, I'm a German war vet, if I told anyone or discriminated against you for being Italian I would be the biggest hypocrite in the world. Your secret is safe with me, I swear on my life and all the years of my military training that I would never tell anyone your nationality. You have my word."

 

His outward appearance was calm, but internally, he was panicking. Oh God Ludwig had heard him and he knew now and OH GOD HE WAS GOING TO HIT HIM OHGODOHGODOHGODOH-- 

 

Oh. Hold on. 

 

He should have been skeptical, should have been on alert. But something told him that no, he was in no danger here. That Ludwig meant every word he said. 

 

A smile, Feliciano nodding a bit. "Six is fine." Lovino always ate around five, so that worked perfectly. "Oh! And if you want... I don't know if it's your thing, but Monday night, there's gonna be a guest speaker talking about increasing budgets for education and lowering tuition. My supervisor said it's gonna be America, so that's exciting!" Who would have thought that of all the schools he could have come to, it would be that one. How many colleges were there in the country, anyway? More than he knew of. "It's a once in a lifetime chance, I wouldn't want you to miss it!" 

 

Instinctively, his hand moved to his pocket, fingers trailing along something which resided there. After all these years, who would have thought he would still have it? He'd assumed that it would get lost, or that Lovino would steal it just for the sake of doing so. But no, it was still there. And he wasn't letting it out of his sight any time soon.

  
  


Feli luckily calmed down, his shoulders slackened and his voice wasn't strained. Actually truth be told, Ludwig was looking forward to this dinner more and more. He'd have to ask Gilbert to be on his best behavior. He'd also have to run down and grab some groceries, he needed to makes sure the meal would be a hitch without any issues. 

 

However, for some reason, Ludwig was slightly put off by that guest speaker coming...America the very personification of the United States was visiting their school, Ludwig has to repress a shiver. It was a bit odd, considering the average person should be excited. But whenever anyone would talk about those personifications, he always felt vaguely uncomfortable and angry. Gilbert even stopped bringing them up when he noticed how aggravated Ludwig would get. Perhaps it was their easy going nature; they could just laze around, letting the years go by without a care in the world, be it messing around and making the citizens clean up the after effects or acting like they were big shots. Ludwig knew it was childish to think that, but no matter how much he chided himself, the same emotions always bubbled up in his chest when someone mentioned them. Despite his distaste for them, Ludwig would be damned if he missed an opportunity to spend more time with Feli...uh wow where did that come from? He meant learn about the perspective of education and the economy of the education bubble from their literal country. It would be a good learning experience. 

 

"Huh sounds...aggravating. To be perfectly honest, I can't stand any of the countries, but I suppose it would be rather educational to go to..." Ludwig commented. "We could carpool to it if you'd like."

 

"Great!" Having not noticed Ludwig's distaste, Feliciano beamed. "I can pick you up for that one. It'll be fun!" Oh man, he had so many plans. Plus, Lovino would be absolutely giddy upon learning that he was going to have not one, but two nights to himself. It was good, Feliciano couldn't expect to take care of him for the rest of his life. Just until he got used to his... new circumstances. 

 

This was odd. How long had it been since he'd been this happy, since he'd felt much of anything at all? Since he'd actually enjoyed anything? All of this, it was so familiar, but also incredibly foreign. Another squeeze of the item in his pocket before he withdrew his hand. 

 

"So, dinner, tomorrow, six o'clock. Got it!" Was... this what a real smile felt like? He'd quite nearly forgotten. 

 

Always chipper this one. A bit absent minded, but there was something that drew him to the small man. Perhaps it was the whole opposites attracts sort of deal. Feli was easy going and happy go lucky. Ludwig was high strung and tended to cling to rules. 

 

Feli's excitement at going with him went unbounded, despite his obvious dislike of the countries. Easy going, happy go lucky, and now oblivious. His personally traits were nothing like Ludwig’s and were traits Ludwig was usually exasperated at. True, he did find himself a little annoyed when Feli flipped out like that when he was KOed but...no matter how annoying, it was so sincere. To think this whole thing happened because of a bake sale. Some people would call it fate, but Ludwig scoffed at that idea. He was in control of how his life played out, not some otherworldly cause and effect. 

 

"Yes I uh...look forward to seeing you Mr. Va-Feli," Ludwig admitted, his cheeks slightly pink.

 

Okay, how were people supposed to end conversations? Damn, he didn't know. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ludwig!" A wave as he started to head off, but he stopped. "Oh, and...." Turning just his head, the smile was softer. Less gleeful, more sad. And for just two words, he allowed his true accent to come forth, if only to explain what he meant. "...Thank you." 

 

He ducked into one of the offices then; Heart light, eyes shining, and no idea just how much of a part fate had played in this meeting.

 

For a moment Ludwig's heart stopped when Feli dropped the accent, his mouth quivering into a solemn smile, and a genuine thank you departed from his lips. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't. Feli booked it with such speed he didn't have time to process it. Instead, he stared at the empty spot Feli was, a mix of emotions swirling in his chest.

 

"Are all Italians so damn fast?" he mused out loud, grabbing his briefcase and heading home. When he arrived, Gilbert dropped the bowl of ramen he was eating. He hadn't seen his brother smile like that in years.

 

This was a good day. Feliciano was always one for making new friends, even if it didn't happen very often. Honestly, he really only had acquaintances. And technically, Ludwig should have been considered one, as well. But this felt different. It was as though they clicked in an instant. 

 

He got his shopping done in record time, and if someone were to ask any of the employees at the store, they'd have said that his smile seemed to brighten up the entire room. Not that he didn't smile normally, but it wasn't as heartfelt, wasn't as warm. It was always more of an "I'm okay, this is all right" smile, while this new one said "Everything is wonderful, I have never been this happy in my life". 

 

Even as he got to Lovino's house and was promptly shouted at because "Dannazione, Feliciano, posso prendermi cura di me, io non ho bisogno di trattarmi come un bambino, che cazzo sei così felice" his grin never faded. 

 

Tomorrow would be fantastic, he could tell. As soon as Lovino was situated-- Still bitching, of course-- he retreated into the living room and began looking through the clothes he'd packed into his suitcase, searching for something that would be considered appropriate. Oh man, he didn't even know. Was this supposed to be formal or not? Hmm. Probably should have figured that one out ahead of time, actually.


	6. Moment For Moment

The kitchen was sweltering, pleasant to harty smells wafted through the air and filled the whole house with a delicious aroma. Ludwig went all out on cooking the dinner...well he usually put 100% into everything he did but this time he put 200%. All from scratch, he made Kartoffelpuffer, a salty side dish to compliment the spicy bratwurst he cooked up. For a light side dish, he tossed a simple salad and for dessert a huge, savory, schwarzwalder kirschtorte-- or black forest cherry cake. Ludwig put his all into the cake, from the alternating layers of rich chocolate cake, glistening cherries, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings it was a sight to behold. He had to put Gilbert in a headlock to prevent him from devouring the cake. Sure Ludwig loved making cakes, but he barely had any free time. When he did make cake, especially one that good, Gilbert went nuts. 

 

"Brother please just one slice before you date arrives," Gilbert begged, literally on the ground with his arms splayed out. 

 

"For the last time Gilbert n- wait did you say date?!" Ludwig asked incredulously. 

 

Rolling so he was lying on his back, Gilbert pushed off the wall and slid under the table, devising a plan to sneak just one piece of the glorious masterpiece. "Uh yeah no shit it's a date. Seriously, when I heard you had one I did a fucking double take, then I texted everyone in the bird watching club about it and as of recently snapchatted everyone the cake. They all agreed that it is a date." 

 

Ludwig promptly stopped putting food on plates with his spatula, his face red as a tomato. He felt his stomach churn with unease and mouth go dry. A...date? How absurd, he simply invited Feli over for dinner and agreed to go this awful sounding seminar with him...he didn't know anything about dates. All of his time was spent at the University, taking care of Gilbert, and working out. 

 

"Hey Gilbert...how many people agreed that this was a date?" he asked nervously. 

 

Propping his head up, Gilbert hummed in thought. "Uhhh well just about everyone so thats makes like 15 people, why?" 

 

That was when Ludwig snapped the spatula in half as realization set in. "Gilbert..." Ludwig said quietly. "I will give you a slice of cake before dinner if you look up everything there is to know about dates on the internet." 

 

At that Gilbert shot up, consequently knocking his forehead on the underside of the table. "Ow fuck shit!" Gilbert cried, scrambling from under the table and to the kitchen. "Whoa whoa hold up you _never_  let me eat any dinner item before well dinner. Jeesh Ludwig, it's not a big deal, like you've gone on dates before right?" Gilbert pressed. 

 

He had never gone a date before, and if he had, well he doubted drunken one night stands counted. He was utterly hopeless when it came to any romantic prospects. Gilbert, who could read his brother like a book and took his silence as a no. 

 

"Okay so you've never been on a date before, big deal. Think of it as a meeting but less formal and more food. Act natural, be yourself don't let this whole date thing muddle that metal noggin of yours. I mean if I was on a date I'd totally wow them with how awesome I am. They would be so enamoured with me and praise me and give me all the black forest cherry cake I could--" 

 

Ludwig stopped him right there. "Despite my appreciation for your advice, you are not getting any cake until dinner is done." 

 

"Awwwww what?" After his preparations were complete, Ludwig put on a nice button up green shirt with a black tank top underneath and black pants. It was a little on the business casual side, but that's what he normally wore anyways. Getting into his black honda civic, not before warning Gilbert that if he even looked at the cake he would take away his phone, Ludwig started the drive to Feli's place.

 

His finger clutched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. If his grip was even just slightly tighter, he would have done serious damage to the steering wheel. It was just like Gilbert said, act normal. Don't overblow this or anything...maybe he could drive down to the library really quick and check out a dating 101 book....no, no, he didn't have time. Ludwig liked to be punctual, not a minute too early or a minute too late. 

 

Okay, it was time. He would be there any second. Standing in front of the cracked mirror, Feliciano adjusted his tie slightly. Did he look okay? Did it matter that much? 

 

The apartment was, to say the least, a shithole. It was the cheapest Lovino could get that would also accept his... legal issues. But ever since the incident, it just hadn't been practical for him to stay there. So boxes were stacked all around the cramped living space, aisles cleverly plotted so that they could both navigate. 

 

It wasn't the most ideal situation for Ludwig to see them in, but it was what they had, so they would have to make it work. 

 

"What the hell is taking you so long?" A pounding came on the bathroom door, startling Feliciano a bit. "Did one of those kids twist your nipples to the breaking point?" After this, he heard the floorboards squeaking toward the kitchen, before Lovino could even get an answer. Guess it wasn't that important, then. 

 

Attention back onto his reflection, Feliciano smiled a bit at himself. This was good. This was going to be a nice night between two friends who wanted to get to know one another better. And no amount of Lovino's negative attitude could get him down. He was certainly used to it enough.

 

Everything was in order, right? Yes. Yes, it was all fine. Calm down, Feliciano, everything would be fine. 

  
Absolutely fine.


	7. Home to Skid Row

It was 5:58 when Ludwig arrived at the apartment complex, the word “complex” being used very loosely. It was more like a bunch of bricks built up in a sort of half haphazardly jenga looking deal. The building itself looked grimy and old with dead vines flaking off the exterior. Of course he wouldn't judge, he had literally slept in a pile of mud before. Functionality over appearance was his motto. Taking a deep breath, Ludwig walked up to the entrance of the building. There was an old grimy key card to the right of the door, but he figured he'd try the door anyways. Low and behold the door opened without the need of any sort of keycard. That was a little disconcerting. Perhaps he should talk to Feli about implementing a security device in his apartment room. 

 

Ludwig then made his way up and to the apartment. The whole way there, the apartment complex grew more and more shoddy. The carpet was musty and the walls consisted of just drywall, they weren't even finished. Ludwig doubted the building was even structurally sound. Unease grew in Ludwig's chest as well as a desperate desire to whisk Feli away from this place. Not only was the building pretty bad, but the neighborhood around it was to. Well, Feli did say that it was his brother's house and he was moving, so at least that was something. Right on time, Ludwig found himself in front of his apartment door. With a deep breath, Ludwig placed four repetitive knocks on the door.

 

It was actually rather impressive. Not a minute after the small digital clock turned to 6:00, the knocking came. Either it was an incredible coincidence, or Ludwig's punctuality was something most people could only dream of. 

 

There were two rules about answering the door in this building. One was that you had to be incredibly quiet on your way over, and two that you always use the peephole. No exceptions. You never knew just who was going to be out there, and it was always best that no one know you're home unless you want them to. 

 

Especially with the company that the Vargas brothers had been forced to make. 

 

The usual routine, Feliciano beaming as he saw that yes, it was just Ludwig standing there. Both locks on the door were quickly unfastened, hurrying to greet him. "Hey, perfect timing!" Even in this protected space, the American accent was used. 

 

Ludwig smiled when he saw Feli, it wasn't an all out one like the small Italian was sporting, it was more subtle. His smile disappeared soon, though.

 

"Who the hell is it?" Another voice rang out, Lovino poking his head over a pile of boxes which were in front of where he was seated. 

 

Oh boy. "Just a friend." 

 

"What? You don't have friends."

 

Lovino, unlike the younger of the two, was not so adamant regarding concealing his accent. Whether it was some kind of pride or he just couldn't be bothered, Feliciano couldn't say. But whenever they were in public and Lovino spoke, it was as though everything was moving slowly. Because really, Lovino wasn't the most polite person to begin with. And adding their Italian roots to that? Well, they had all the proof they needed that it could end badly. 

 

Lovino's head disappeared behind the boxes for a moment before he emerged, his wheelchair clipping the corner of one of the piles and nearly sending a mountain of cardboard and who-the-fuck-knows-what onto him. Dammit, this thing was difficult to get used to. He froze for just a moment as he met the visitor’s eyes, but quickly gathered himself. "Okay, you listen to me. All I've heard my brother talk about for the past day is 'Ludwig, Ludwig!' and you'd better hope that you've got a good doctor because you're gonna get a real bad case of food poisoning from this knuckle sandwich if you think I'm just gonna stand here and--" 

 

"Okay, that's enough." Tone light, he simply spun his brother around and began pushing the wheelchair into his bedroom. "I'll be back later tonight. And if you could try not to upset Mrs Nelson tonight, it would mean a lot to me." 

 

"Don't touch me, you waste of skin! Feliciano, you get your hands off me right now or I swear--" 

 

As the door was shut, the shouting was muffled, though the words "Asshole", "Fucking", and various other Italian curses could be made out. 

 

Feliciano let out a breath as he turned back to Ludwig. "Sorry about that. Lovino's been going through some stuff. He's really a nice guy." Well. "Okay, he's actually a dick, but he means well."

 

What, exactly, did Ludwig get himself into?

 

Feli's brother was so different, yet similar to his brother. He was like nega Feli in a sense, he even had a hair curl on the opposite side. If Feli was day then his brother was night. From the few moments he had the "grace" of being in his presence, Ludwig could tell that Lovino was brash, loud, and was filled with an unfathomable amount of rage. 

 

The small man had wheeled toward him, threatening him with all his might but really there was no bite at all. Ludwig knew what anger looked like, this was nothing compared to...well that's a story for another time. Though really he was more concerned with the prospect of boxes tumbling over then Lovino's opinion on him. Really all those stacks boxes looming over the room were a disaster waiting to happen, especially with the other man in a wheelchair. The whole scene was a bit inane, from Lovino throwing a hissy fit and Feli having to wheel him away.

 

Though once it was just Feli and him, Ludwig brightened up a bit. "It's okay trust me I know what it's like to be confined a wheelchair, I'm sure he's just having trouble adjusting." He tended to give people the benefit of the doubt. 

 

"Anyways shall we get going? I made sure my brother would be on this best behavior so he won't cause any trouble...hopefully. I swear my dogs act better than him." It was true. While cooking, instead of loitering around hoping for a taste, they were sleeping in his room. His dogs were his pride and joy. People were often surprised that his two Akitas were so well trained. The opposite could be said for Gilbert.

 

"Ooh, you have dogs?" Feliciano's eyes practically lit up at this news. Granted, he was more of a cat person, himself, he never gave up an opportunity to pet an animal. 

 

Grabbing the spare set of keys off the hook and a jacket, Feliciano's expression held just a touch of worry as he glanced around a bit while locking the door. Hopefully not enough to be noticed, but it was there. "I used to have a neighbor who would let us play with his dog when we were kids." Best not to mention what happened to the neighbor. 

 

He led him out of the building, constantly on alert but never daring to show it. That walk from the third floor always caused his heart to race. But once they were outside, his mind began calming down. 

 

"Yes, I rescued them from the shelter and trained them since they were pups," Ludwig replied. His two dogs were loyal and compliant. He didn't even need to put them on leashes when he ran, of course he did so anyways as per city regulations. Actually since they sold child leashes did they make adult leashes? That would be the perfect device to keep Gibert in check. He made a mental note to check amazon for any such thing while he followed Feli out of the rundown building. The slightly chilly air was a welcome feeling in contrast to the musty air in the apartment building. He had a sinking suspicion that the apartment complex broke several ventilation codes. 

 

"I'm sure your brother is great." Feliciano offered a bit more of a smile. "After all, you saw mine, so you know what I deal with." 

 

"Are you talking about me, stronzo?! Non osare parlare merda al tuo piccolo ragazzo! Stare lontano da mio fratello!" 

 

Lovino was leaning out the window as best he could, rambling on as usual. His words caused a bit of color to flood into Feliciano's cheeks. Dammit, Ludwig better not speak Italian. "Bye, Lovino!" Even after he called out, the words continued flooding the air. 

 

Dammit, why was there always that tension between them?

 

Ludwig couldn't help but snort at Feli side comment about his brother. "Try getting a call from your brother at 3 in the morning asking you to come to the old water tower to pick him up, only to find that he's duct taped to the side of said water tower that is around 150 feet high." 

 

That was certainly an interesting morning. Apparently Gilbert's excuse was that on some internet forum site it said that if you attached yourself to an extremely high object during devil's hour, an alien spaceship would abduct you. Ludwig hadn't let him use his phone or laptop for a month after that. "He's a pain but I couldn't imagine life without him," Ludwig added. It was true, Gilbert despite his shortcomings, was a breath of fresh air. Without him Ludwig would have probably died from stress via PTSD. Though Lovino suddenly yelling in Italian from a window did nothing to quell his heightened stress levels. His opinion on Lovino shrank to the size of a shriveled up raisin. So much for giving him the benefit of the doubt. Feli tried to sweep up the embarrassing little tantrum his brother was throwing but Ludwig saw the bright red blush paint his cheeks. 

 

"Relax Feli, I'm not going to judge you for having a well...eccentric brother. I'm not a hypocrite," he told him softly. 

 

Yeah, that wasn't the reason he was blushing. But Ludwig didn't need to know that. 

 

Reaching his car Ludwig peered into the backseat, there was nothing there but a empty seat...good. He could never be too careful, an assailant in the backseat pointing a gun at his head would make for a crappy first...date...It took everything Ludwig had not to freeze up at that word. He bit his lower lip to get himself back into focus. With the press of a button he unlocked his car and opened the other door for Feli. He needed to relax, like what Gilbert said it was just a dinner date, no need to overblow it.

 

Feliciano noticed the glance to the backseat, though said nothing of it. Probably just making sure he hadn't left anything there. He flashed a smile of thanks as the door was opened for him, fastening his seatbelt as soon as he was sitting down. Don't give the cops any reason to pull them over. Don't look suspicious in any way. He was an upstanding citizen who had never done anything wrong or illegal in his life. If he kept telling himself that, perhaps he would give off that aura. 

 

It was then that his phone-- The cheapest pre-paid one he could find-- alerted him of a text. Shit, not now. He stared at the message for a few moments before slipping the phone back into his pocket. Giuseppe could wait a few hours, right? Even though he was probably less than happy, they would be fine, right? 

 

Lord, he hoped so.


	8. I Still See It All

As soon as Feli was in, Ludwig started the car and backed out the parking lot. No need to linger in this sort of area longer than necessary. It was relatively quiet for a few moments with only the hum of the engine and cars rushing by filling the expanse of silence. However a small reveal shattered the silence into pieces. 

 

"Feliciano." It was strange saying it aloud after all this time. "That's my full name." Lovino was far more careless regarding hiding his origins, but the two both had names that practically screamed 'Italian'. So the younger had elected to shorten it while in public. But Ludwig, he could know. Him and only him. 

 

Feliciano.... Ludwig didn't know what it meant in Italian, but it caused deja vu to tug at his memories. It was growing concerning, whenever he saw Feli he had the faintest recollection of knowing him before. "That's...a beautiful name...Feliciano..." Ludwig complimented softly. Saying that name brought shivers up his spine. Admittedly it thrilled him, so to speak. He just met Feli yesterday yet he was enamoured by him. 

 

A few moments of silence, and that was when the question came. "Hey Ludwig? What do you think happens to countries when they die?" 

 

It was asked before he could even determine just what he was saying. Where the hell had that come from? Why did it matter? He was known for rambling when he was nervous, but this wasn't like that. 

 

"I mean, they don't very often. But I figure, after World War Two, when Germany, Italy, Prussia and Japan were dissolved.... I mean, there were countries to go along with them, right? Do they just... stop being immortal, or do they disappear, or do they die like everyone else?" It was a pretty loaded question for their first time hanging out. But it was too late now.

 

Feli's question made him almost drive through a red light. 

 

Ludwig didn't really know how to respond, he didn't invest much time in the countries. Despite being a veteran in the American military, he never met America before nor did he want to...well if it wasn't for Feli's sake . 

 

"I'm not sure Feliciano..." Ludwig admitted. "I guess I've always figured they just...slowly disappeared. Honestly, I don't involve myself in the affairs of countries if I can avoid it...too much trouble than they're worth. Always stirring up something for trivial reasons. After being in the military for so long, the idea of pseudo immortality doesn't sit well with me..." Seeing so many souls lost on the battlefield really fucked with Ludwig's perception of life and death. How easily a person could be ripped away from the earth...it morphed him into someone who grew numb to the idea of death, yet also made him detest the countries, who's lifespan was ever growing. 

 

"What do you think of them?" he then asked hesitantly.

 

Now there was a question. It took him a moment to think about it, but he found himself smiling yet again. "They mean well most of the time, I think." But then, he'd always tried to see the good in people. "I met France once. I had to go there when I was a kid to...." He trailed off, but picked back up. "Anyway, he was really nice, but he seemed kinda busy. Didn't want to stay and talk long." Thinking about it, he'd looked... rather concerned. But it had been a long time ago, perhaps he was just remembering wrong. "But the next day, he found me again and gave me this!" After a few seconds of fishing around in his pocket, he pulled out a small, flat, polished stone with a word engraved into it: 'Rappelles'. "I don't know what it means, but it looks like it sounds nice. And I didn't really have much back then, so it's really special to me." 

 

Indeed, he could have looked up the translation. But something within him was telling him no, not yet. Not until the right moment. The time would come, but this wasn't it. 

 

Perhaps it was childish. But he could hold onto his childhood as long as he liked. 

 

Ludwig could be pessimistic at times...still his opinion over the countries wouldn't change overnight. It seemed one of them made quite the impression over Feli. The way he talked about them was coated in fond nostalgia. The break in the reason for meeting France was noticeable, but it was Feli's business not his. The stone wasn't anything particularly eye catching, sure it was polished but it looked like any stone you could get in a gift shop. The engraving however caught his interest. He only caught a glimpse of the engraving as he had to keep his eyes trained on the road, but he did mull over the meaning. Maybe he could dig around his desk for his English to French dictionary so he could look up the meaning. Though besides that, it wasn't very interesting, though Feli seemed quite attached to it and he guessed the circumstances that led the stone in Feli's possession added to the value. 

 

"It is a rather odd gift to procure after just meeting someone. Though knowing the countries, they do rather peculiar things. Still at least he sounds like a somewhat decent person,” he commented.

 

"But I mean... don't you think it's kinda sad? The way they have to watch all the normal people around them die? Think about how many people that would make over the...." Dammit, hold on. "...I don't remember the word in English. Secoli. Like... hundreds of years." 

 

Well this was mildly humiliating. 

 

He was usually so good at this, why were his words failing now? Granted, better it happen in front of Ludwig than someone else, but even so. 

 

"I think you're looking for centuries Feli, don't worry I slip up from time to time as well. English is a pain in the ass language," Ludwig admitted. Even though he had a high aptitude for learning, English never felt right on his tongue. This whole conversation didn't feel right. 

 

Feliciano turned his head to look out the window, frowning a bit at his reflection. "I feel bad for them, honestly. I'd rather live a short life with people I care about than a long one while everyone else leaves me. Being alone is worse than anything."

 

When Feli got philosophical, Ludwig pretended to drum his fingers on the wheel in thought. In reality his was trying to quell the melancholy that sprouted in his chest. Ludwig had no interest in the countries and was pretty inveterate. So why was he so affected by notion of a country's longevity? 

 

"I guess that's the trade off, then. Immortality for loneliness. However, there is an abundance of countries so it's not like they're totally alone. They have each other to mess around with. Don't fret over it Feli, you're human and I'm human so we have nothing to worry about." 

 

Ludwig was glad he was human, sure with all those years going for him he could get so much done, but it seemed like a hassle to have to deal with those infuriating countries. He would be a sound mind in a sea of utter ridiculousness. He was rather content where he was despite his unpleasant past. 

 

Just in time his house came into view. It was a medium two story house that wasn't all that grandous. The house was of a simple design but was as clean as a whistle. Even the yard was trimmed to perfection. Pulling up in the driveway Ludwig parked his car and turned off the ignition. 

 

"Here we are."


	9. Prosperity Was 'Round The Corner

Given Feliciano's past and current living situations, this place looked like a palace, and the fondness shone in his eyes. He had never wanted much, really. But what he saw in front of him, it tugged at his heartstrings a bit. 

 

No, shut up. Not the time. 

 

"Ooooh, it's nice!" Stay happy. Stay smiling. No use yearning for it. He'd never even expected to end up as well off as he was. 

 

Seat belt unfastening, the fear that gripped him slowly began to dissipate. No more worrying about police, not until the night was over. He was a free man. 

 

For as long as he could manage. 

 

As he hopped out of the car-- And he really did hop. Always full of energy-- he returned the stone to his pocket, giving it one last stroke with his thumb. "It reminds me of this place I stayed at in Switzerland! It was small for the amount of people there, but it had these big hills outside that Lovino, the other kids and I used to roll down! Until I hit a tree, then he wouldn't let me do it anymore." Sometimes, his brother would credit the accident to Feliciano's oblivious personality. Which was pretty rude, actually. "There wasn't much else to do though, so I just ended up drawing a lot." 

 

Shit, was he rambling now? Probably best to stop.

 

Feli was a bumbling ball of energy. He practically quivered with excitement as he rambled about his childhood. It was charming in a way, to see Feli gush like that. Ludwig couldn't help but smile faintly while Feli recounted his days in Switzerland. "That sounds nice, I've always wanted to go to Switzerland, it sounds peaceful." Truthfully, Ludwig did want to travel, however he just never had the time. His schedule was also booked. 

 

"You draw?” Ludwig then asked thoughtfully. “That's a difficult skill to acquire, I was never much of an art person." 

 

Ludwig's art was so bad that it sent Gilbert to tears whenever he saw it...as to why he didn't draw at all. He was never really fond of it anyways so he didn't really care. He still appreciated the fine arts though and would sometimes take Gilbert to art museums for some bonding times. ‘Take’ however is a term used very lightly. It more like Ludwig dragging Gilbert out of his room while he was kicking and clawing his way back. He really wished that his friend didn't introduce him to the animes or whatever it was called. Now Gilbert was either locked in his room watching Death Book or getting in trouble for one of his hair brained schemes. 

 

A slight nod, Feliciano still taking everything in. "I paint, too. But the supplies for that are harder to come by." Why the hell were canvases so expensive, anyway?

 

Speaking of Gilbert, as soon as he opened the door and lead Feli inside he noticed how...quiet it was. Usually while he was gone, Gilbert amped up the speakers on his surround sound and blasted music. However now it was...eerily quiet. Maybe he was just being paranoid. 

 

"Here, the dining room is over to the left, if you notice anything strange like Egyptian Hieroglyphics on the wall sorted into a mosaic that looks like an alien head ignore it. It's probably my brother trying to contact aliens for the 55th time," Ludwig warned. His voice was entirely to serious despite his ridiculous description. 

 

Oh wow, Ludwig had a dining room and everything. He hadn't been in a dining room in.... Actually, had he ever? He didn't think so. 

 

Not wanting to waste time Ludwig walked down to the dining area and was pleased to find that everything was in-- wait. What...what was that? Instead of a black forest cherry cake sitting in the center of the table there was...a piece of cardboard with a poorly drawn cake drawn on with...lip gloss. Ludwig almost had an aneurysm from the sight of it. Feeling his blood pressure soar, Ludwig ripped the cardboard connection in half. "GILBERT!" he then yelled.

 

In the midst of him nearly gaping at the luxury he could only dream of, that was when the shout came. Out of instinct he'd thought he'd abandoned long ago, he dropped everything he was doing and pulled his jacket over his nose and mouth. Thoughts were racing in his mind. Get out of there, try not to breathe too deeply, was there anything he could use to protect his eyes? Panic etched into his expression, which had clearly been there so many times before. 

 

It took a few seconds before everything registered. Calm down. He wasn't back there. He was in America. At Ludwig's house. And Ludwig was only shouting because he was angry with his brother. There wasn't anything to be worried about, no one was there to harm them. 

 

Dammit, that was even worse than forgetting the English word. What a shitty night so far, humiliation-wise. It had only been a couple seconds, and as he pulled himself together, Feliciano was silently praying that Ludwig hadn't seen the episode. 

 

He didn't have to know about his past. About what he had been through, what he had done. Who he was tied to. 

 

It would be better for them both if he stayed in the dark.

 

Luckily, Ludwig did not see the little episode. He was too busy making sure Gilbert did not ruin the...date. Ludwig internally shivered at the thought. The amount of romance experience had was pretty much negligible. If there was one thing he was experienced in, it was knowing where Gilbert would be if he did something that he knew, would no doubt piss Ludwig off. His heavy boots hitting the wood floors was like the theme from jaws. The intensity was staggering. Ludwig made his way over to a closet, the door almost shaking with his powerful steps. 

 

Eyes narrowing, breath evening out, the veteran began the usual procedure. "Gilbert I'm going to give you four seconds to get out of there. If you don't step out, return the cake, and apologize to my date, I will ground you for the week." Embarrassingly enough he didn't even realize he called Feli his date out loud...for everyone to hear. 

 

Instead of acknowledging the slip up he began the countdown. "One, two, t--." 

 

As expected, he didn't get a chance to finish the three. Gilbert bolted out, the door hitting the wall with a impressive bang. The forest cake had a chunk missing from it, but to his surprise it wasn't all gone. Gilbert shuffled to the table, head down and shoulders up. The cake was returned, now for the hard part. Like all teenagers, he tended to hate apologizing, especially when it came to adults. He pretty much had a no ‘regrets attitude,’, which he used as an excuse for not apologizing. Luckily, it seemed he wizened up a bit, knowing that Ludwig was not messing around. 

 

With his hands in his sweatshirt pockets Gilbert went up to Feli and uttered an apology. "Sorry Mr. Vargas." 

 

Once he regathered himself, Feliciano managed a laugh. "It's okay, I used to do stuff like that all the time." Well, kind of. Stealing food from merchants probably wasn't even close to the same thing. But you know what? Close enough.

 

Satisfied with his apology, Ludwig gestured to the table. "Now take a seat and don't touch anything until everyone else is seated." 

  
Doing what he was told, Gilbert stalked over to the table. Clearly he was upset at himself for getting caught and yelled at, but he'd be over it in five minutes after he stuffed his face with food.  
  
Feliciano did not, however, process the words Ludwig had said. Not until about a full three minutes later. Was this... really a date? Had there been a suggestion to the fact that he'd missed? Or was it just a cultural difference? Germans were so hard to read. Even harder than other people.  
  
But then, even if it wasn't, even if this was exactly what it looked like, would that be so bad?  
  
He pushed the thought aside for the moment. It would be best to just roll with whatever came, go from there. If it was a date, surely he would realize it before the night was through. If not, then it was still a good meal with a good friend.   
  
Feliciano took a seat, his smile never leaving him. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Dammit, not now. Wait a few hours. A few hours, then he could answer. Then he could run off and do whatever the hell was needed of him this time.   
  
God, he hoped it was something simple.


	10. They Got You Where They Want You

Gilbert immediately warmed up to Feli when they both took a seat. He kept fidgeting in his chair waiting to be served, so he figured he'd past the time by making friends with his brother's date. Besides, anyone who steals food was A+ in his books.  
  
While Ludwig was cutting the bratwurst and putting it on Feli's plate, Gilbert figured now would be a good time to cook up some trouble. "So bruder told me aaaaaallll about you. How you sub for some music teacher and how you're both going to a seminar with a country person leading it, even though Ludwig _hates_ countries. And I mean hates them with a burning passion. You must be real neato, ‘cause Ludwig would never do anything country related with any normal person."

 

Why, Feliciano couldn’t help but wonder, did Ludwig despise the countries so much? Was there a specific reason? Had he been wronged in some way? Or was he just bitter? It wasn't really his question to ask, at least not in this setting.  
  
Luckily, Ludwig was done serving Feli bratwurst and kartoffeluffer or else he would have cut straight through the plate. Heat rose up from his neck to ears. He regretted not grounding Gilbert on the spot when he found him in the closet. Trying to ignore the stomach churning embarrassment Ludwig sat in his own chair and loaded Gilbert's plate, as his brother would normally never put anything green on his plate.   
  
"Gottverdammt Gilbert just eat your food and pipe down," he scolded. "It's rude to talk about guests like that." More like Gilbert knew he was treading in dangerous territory. He must have been feeling cocky because Gilbert rolled his eyes and started shoveling food in his mouth, mixing the meat with the salad so he wouldn't to taste it.

 

His body's first instinct was to tell his brain that this food was absolutely terrible. Feliciano had always had a very specific taste. If it wasn't Italian, he didn't really like it. It was kind of funny, actually. But the years had taught him that if food was offered, it was best to eat it before it was taken from you and you were left to starve. So he smiled, choking it down while doing his very best not to look like he was suffering.   
  
Actually, this was probably the best, most nutritious thing he'd eaten in quite some time. It beat the crap he got from the Dollar Nest.  
  
"You remind me of someone my brother used to know." Feliciano giggled a bit. "I never met him, but Lovino would always talk about him. He said he was really outgoing and kinda reckless, and pretty funny. Even when he wasn't trying to be." A faint smile. "The two of us were separated for a few years when I was fourteen. I guess during that time, Lovino had gotten sick, and his friend had stayed by his bedside and played the flute for him to keep him entertained. He says it was annoying, but I can tell he liked it."  
  
His phone was vibrating again, this time with a call instead of a text. 

 

To Ludwig's surprise, Gilbert stopped eating, his fork frozen near his mouth. Swallowing what he had, Gilbert gave Feli an inquisitive look, like he was trying to remember something. He listened intently to Feli's story and when he finished he hummed a bit before speaking up. "You know that name seems awfully familiar, gosh this is going annoy the crap out of me. Yo Ludwig, did you mention he had a brother?"  
  
"Yes, but I didn't say the name," Ludwig informed him.  
  
A simple thrum of fingers against the table signaled that Gilbert was deep in thought. "I would have known if he was part of any bird watching group...maybe he was at one of our concerts? Is your brother a fan of heavy metal?"  
  
Gilbert was racking his brain, trying to figure out why the name sounded so familiar. It tugged at his memories yet he couldn’t pinpoint it. They’ve only had a couple gigs so far, most of them local or at some heavy metal meetup. They did occasionally post some videos on YouTube, and one time one of their band members hooked them up to play with a decently popular band. That was awesome. Honestly, he was very social, so he knew a lot of people, even if they didn’t want to know him. He was constantly getting into trouble and tended to sneak around, despite Ludwig forbidding him from going to the next town over...which was was pretty shady. Perhaps they bumped into each other on the streets and exchanged pleasantries before going on their way. Wait no...no Gilbert remembered. Food lodged in his throat when the memory resurfaced causing him to choke for a brief second.  
  
“Oh man your brother is the guy who shredded on my guitar! Dude your brother is a huge grouch who’s in a wheelchair but bitches a lot and can play electric guitar really well!” Gilbert exclaimed.

 

Now this, this was a real, honest laugh. "Yep, that's him. He told me about that, actually. It was just a few weeks ago, right?" After all, Lovino hadn't had the wheelchair for very long. "He said you guys were playing in the park and were annoying him, so he told you he could do better?" Feliciano paused. "I'm sorry if he was rude. He's going through a lot."  
  
Damn, if that wasn't an understatement.  
  
"He means well, though. Work was already stressful enough for him as it was, and ever since the accident...." Sure. 'Accident'. "But he's adjusting really well! When he told me about that, that was when I first realized that he was going to be okay!"  
  
Rambling again, Feliciano.   
  
"I don't... actually remember where he learned to play, actually...." Had he told him? Hadn't Lovino mentioned something about some Spanish guy? Or... was that a dream? Dammit, he wasn't sure. Oh, well. It wasn't important.

 

Ludwig was taken aback by the sudden knowledge that Gilbert met Feli's brother. What were the chances that his date's brother met his own brother weeks before? Maybe it was fate...no, no, fate was only an idealist's dream. It was all superstitious nonsense. He didn't even know why he came up with that idea, Gilbert's crazy paranormal schemes must have been getting to him. 

 

Speaking of Gilbert, Ludwig could tell he was excited. He was positively beaming. Large red eyes sparkled with amusement as Feli talked. 

 

"More like he yelled at us to stop making dying tractor music and learn how to play real music," Gilbert corrected. "My band’s totally awesome though, so we kept playing anyways. But then he just rolled his eyes and swiped my electric guitar. Man you should have seen him play it was fu- I mean flipping awesome! Well not as awesome as me, but still! He played some of the harder chords like they were nothing. After we had a jam session, your bro tried to act like he wasn't enjoying it but he was for reals digging it! I tried to persuade him to join as an electric acoustic player but he said he had better things to do then play with a bunch of ametuer highschoolers. Whatever, I'll show your bro that my band is totally awesome!" 

 

During that whole story Gilbert became more animated until he was standing on his chair, striking a weird pose. 

 

"Gilbert, get down from there, you're going to break your neck," Ludwig ordered, though he was happy to see his brother so excited. 

 

Rolling his eyes, he plopped back down and started shoveling more food into his face. By then, he was on his second serving of...everything.

 

Oh man, this kid was a riot. In the back of his mind, Feliciano found himself recalling the days of his childhood. Back to when he was so excitable, so cheery and full of hope. So unlike how he was now. 

 

Once again, the phone vibrated in his pocket, this time hitting the chair just right and making an audible noise. Feliciano gathered his strength, daring to pull it out and check the caller ID. Yep, exactly who he'd thought. Great. "Sorry, I've gotta take this. He's called three times already." And he feared what would happen if he ignored it for much longer. 

 

"Of course take your time," Ludwig replied. He knew what it was like to have a busy schedule, so he could wholeheartedly sympathize. Everytime he stopped to breathe, another problem would knock the breath out of him. That's life. 

 

Moving into the other room, Feliciano kept his voice soft as he conversed with the man on the other end. "Buonasera, Giuseppe. No. No, Italiano per favore. Si. Sono a la casa di il mio amico. ...Adesso? Ma-- Io.... Si. lo farò. Venti minuti, il mio pistola è a casa. Come si chiama? Giovinco Panettiere. Okay. Si. ...Per La Cosa Nostra e per Italia. Ciao." 

 

He hung up, a look of concern etched into his features. But he turned, smiling at his hosts as though nothing was wrong. "I'm really sorry, I got called into work. Second job, you know? But um, maybe I could come back after? I shouldn't be there for more than a couple hours." If things went well.

 

It was disappointing to find out Feli had to leave, it was a short dinner but all good things must come to an end. Even with that thinking, Ludwig was hesitant to let Feli go. Something was off. His facial features were very strained. He was perturbed but was trying not to show it. Beneath Feli's shining laid a troubled mind, wrought with worry. Maybe he could convince him to stay. Not in front of Gilbert, though. 

 

"It's quite alright Feli, these things crop up. It's getting rather late, but we can set up a later date to er...spend some time together," Ludwig suggested. "Here I'll get my keys, Gilbert pack up what you don't eat." 

 

Gilbert saluted him and continued to finish off what was left on his plate. His brother was always doing something, be it running around town with his friends or getting into trouble. Ludwig supposed that's why he needed to consume so much food. That's where he got his boundless energy from.

 

"No!" Shit, that came too quickly. Cover his ass, try to seem not suspicious. "I mean-- It's okay, I can walk! It's really not a big deal, and it's kinda out of the way." Another smile, hoping it wasn't strained. "But um, I-- I'll see you on Monday, right? It'll be fun!" 

 

Stop wasting time, you idiot. Feliciano stuttered out some goodbyes as he snatched his coat in his hand and rushed out the front door, sure to hurry home without appearing conspicuous.

 

Ludwig could practically smell the hurried facade reeking of shady dealings. Mr. Vargas seemed like a guy who got thrown some bad cards. From his living conditions and what happened with his brother, what other misfortunes was Feli experiencing without him knowing? Luckily, Gilbert was busy in the kitchen putting food away so he wasn't exposed to the dawning thought that Feliciano might not be in an entirely safe position. He practically bolted out of the house, if he was trying to hide his anxiety he did a poor job. What he could see before the Italian rushed from the house was a jittery mess. Alarm bells struck at every nerve in Ludwig's body. Something was amiss and he wasn't about to ignore it. It was weird, he only met the guy a day or so ago, yet a surge of, dare hey say, protective adrenaline was running through his veins. For a second, he ran through his options, until he decided on a direct approach being the best option. 

 

"Gilbert I'm going out, lock the door and don't let anyone in, and for god's sake, don’t mess with the alarm system," Ludwig ordered while pulling on his boots.

 

Gilbert poked out his head from the kitchen, confusion wrapping itself across his face. "You okay bro? What's up with Mr. Vargas? Did he decide to split? Man, that guy looked on edge after he got that call, maybe he's secretly a drug dealer like in Breaking Bad." 

 

Irritation flared from his brother's flippant attitude. The more he thought about it, the more he worried that Feli involved himself into something he couldn't get out of. That man was too trusting for his own good. Drug dealing wasn’t entirely out of the equation. In fact, it was a definite possibility, so he couldn't really fault Gilbert. 

 

"Just stay inside and finish your chores," he instructed before grabbing his keys and heading out to his car. 


	11. I Betcha You Would Have Done The Same

As Feliciano entered, Lovino was sitting right in front of the door, arms crossed, as though he were waiting for him. "You're home early."

 

Feliciano only nodded. "Got called in."

 

"Shit. What's he want this time?" He watched as Feliciano dug through his suitcase, eventually finding what he was looking for and flashing it for his brother to see. "Son of a bitch. Look, the last thing we need is you getting hurt, okay? Do you know how much of a pain in the ass that would be for me?"

 

Well, he wasn't wrong.

 

"We don't really have any other options." Voice soft, eyes on the ground. "It's just until we can get on our feet."

 

"Fuck you."

 

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean--"

 

"I know, shitbag." Lovino shook his head. "I meant fuck you for actually believing we're ever gonna be able to get out of this. This is our life. This is what we do. They're not going to let us go."

 

"But if we play along for just a little longer--"

 

"Are you stupid?!" He grabbed Feliciano's collar, pulling him in close. "You think they really give a shit about us? They'll keep us working for them until we both end up dead! As long as they get what they want in the end! Non e La Cosa _Nostra_ , Feliciano! E La Cosa _Vostra_. We're just their pawns!" He shook his head, releasing his brother and retreating to his bedroom. "Whatever. Just be quick and try not to get yourself killed."

 

A nod, Feliciano pocketing everything he would need and heading out.

 

The whole ride there consisted of a myriad of questions and possibilities racing across his mind. Drug dealing, gang affiliations, relatives in need of being bailed out, gambling debts, debts in general, the list went on. Whatever it was, there was nothing he couldn't handle. It didn't take long for him to arrive at the less-than-ideal apartment complex. Reaching down, Ludwig pulled down a cushion from his seat, revealing a small compartment. Inside was an equally small gun, a Smith and Wesson Shield. He had other...unsavory items hidden away, but for now this was all he needed. Tucking it under his waistband, Ludwig made sure it was fully concealed before heading into the apartment building. He usually always had some sort of weapon on him. A part of him knew it was unhealthy paranoia, but right now he didn't give a damn. All he cared about was finding out what the hell was going on. Once he arrived at the right door, Ludwig pressed his ear against it. Not a lot of noises were coming from it, nothing to arise suspicion. Deeming it safe, Ludwig rapped the door with his knuckles. He was tense but entirely in military mode.

 

Those rules of the building, they were pretty hard to follow for someone in Lovino's situation. The peephole wasn't exactly at a good level for him to look through anymore. But lucky for him, they had one of those old fashioned keyholes he could use to get a peek at who was at the door.

 

The moment he did, he cursed aloud.

 

"What the hell do you want?" He didn't even wait for the door to be opened fully before he began verbally berating the man before him. "My brother's not home, so unless you came for the ass kicking I promised you earlier, you've go no reason to be here, 'kay?"

 

Honestly, what was this guy's deal? Feliciano had been gone for hardly ten minutes, and this dick was hot on his trail. Maybe he was a stalker or something.

 

Or maybe.... No, don't even entertain the idea.

 

"Seriously, why are you here?" Arms crossed over his chest, he scanned Ludwig up and down with a gaze that could have cut through diamond. In his eyes, not simple spite. This was a far more prominent anger. As though he blamed this man for all the hardships he and his brother had ever faced. As though this man had personally done unspeakable horrors which had thrown them into a whirlwind right down to hell. "Did you leave some potatoes under the couch by accident and you need to pick them up? Or are you really just that desperate for my fist in your face?"

 

Ludwig really didn't have time for this, his patience was growing thin, all the sympathy he had for the man was sapped away. The sardonic glare wasn't backed up by his immobile state. The fact was if Ludwig wanted to, he could snap him into two. But he would only entertain the idea. The anger gushing out of Lovino only served to make Ludwig's expression more frigid. It was obvious he wasn't intimidated in the slightest. He wasn’t one to play guessing games or to slowly coerce someone into telling him what to do. What he found was the most effective was being sincere with his intentions, make the daunting realization that there was not going to be a happy ending unless he was given what he wanted, clearly apparent. If that didn’t work, he’d keep trying; Ludwig was a tenacious man, he never took breaks and never gave up unless a better option presented itself. He was smart enough to not be stubborn to the point of stupidity, but he was a never ending labor machine. Nothing seemed to be able to cut him down...besides himself.

 

"Cut the crap, Lovino," Ludwig ordered, his stature as stoic as ever. "I'm going to pass along some information, and in return I expect the information on you and your brothers current situation. I'm ex military, specifically a sergeant tasked in many recon missions. I've gone through rigorous training, from hand to hand and to dealing with weapons grade technology. I have numerous contacts and with a few calls could meet up with high ranking military officials. Now I'll end with a simple question, just what have you and your brother have involved yourself with, or should I ask with whom?”

 

Okay, that was probably the definition of not good. But no, he couldn't just reveal everything. "Well you throw around shit like that, and if we were up to anything, I wouldn't want to tell you, now would I?! What the hell do you want from me, our Green Cards?"

 

Lovino Vargas was a coward, this much was true. But damn, he could fake it for a while. "Look, all you have to know is that my brother and I have worked our asses off trying to get by in this damn country, and we do what we have to in order to do that." Though he did not invite Ludwig in, he did move away from the door as he spoke, turning his back to the unwelcome guest. "I get it. You care about Feliciano. And for some God forsaken reason, he cares about you. So that's why I'm going to tell you one more time. Don't get involved. If you keep asking questions, you're going to piss off a lot of people a lot more dangerous than I ever was." Ludwig wasn't useful in their eyes, he wasn't a part of their kinship. In their eyes, there were "Us" and "Them". Italians, and those who would bring harm onto them. And Ludwig was the latter. There was no grey area, no consideration that perhaps someone wasn't that bad. They were different, they were Others. And Others would not be tolerated learning of what they did behind closed doors. Again, he turned away. "You want to help my brother? Fine. There's one thing you can do: Stay out of all of this. I don't want him running crying to me if you get hurt because you stuck your nose where it doesn't belong. The last thing he needs is something else to feel fucking guilty over."

 

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache beginning to thrum against his skull. Lovino could throw all the insults he wanted, he had a teenager for crying out loud, but when it came to Feliciano he could not allow this. It was the most counter intuitive thinking Ludwig seen in a long time. The brothers were stuck and probably way over their heads. Ludwig could guess what happened. In order to immigrate to America they got into some shady dealings and were now dealing with the after effects. Ludwig knew all too well the desperation of wanting to flee from one's home country. If he didn't get that scholarship he probably would have found less ideal means to move as well. Money wasn't exactly growing in trees where he was. It was a miracle they even let a German attend a prestigious college like Amherst college. Some of it probably had to do with filling their minority quota and then expecting the student to drop out so they could say they tried. He knew the hardships of a dying ethnic group. He also knew what it was like to be stuck in a wheelchair.

 

Eyeing the metal contraption a plethora of memories pounded at his head. There was nothing he hated more than being confined to that thing. Sometimes when his prosthetic was having maintenance done or there were problems with his stump he'd have to break the damn thing out. Gilbert would always flit around him, worrying and being extra sure to do his chores. It frustrated him to no end. If Lovino wasn't going to budge, being the stubborn Italian he was, Ludwig would have to show him that he meant business. For Feli he was willing break down his wall, if only for a second.

 

"Do you really think I don't know what it's like," Ludwig began. "To be ostracized from society and on the brink of poverty or to be confined to that infernal contraption that always get's caught on the carpet." To prove his point Ludwig gritted his teeth and rolled up his pant leg, revealing the metal leg. The metal thick pole connecting to the peach colored socket gleamed eerily in the crappy light the cheap light fixtures produced. A few wires were slightly poking out and the small vertical load sensor gave off a tiny glow. It wasn't a pretty sight but it wasn't necessarily ugly. Just very odd. The residual limb was the worst part, covered in angry scar tissue but luckily it was undetectable as it was tucked in the socket.  


There were so many things he could have said. He could have told him everything, or could have insisted that he didn't need to tell him shit.

  
A flash of emotion showed itself on Lovino's face, just for a moment. They both had been dealt a bad hand, that much was true. But was it enough to risk throwing away everything, his brother's trust included?

  
Before he could decide, the door flew open. Not with hurry or anger. It did so because of the weight that had fallen against it.

  
At first glance, it would appear as though Feliciano was pathetically intoxicated. But the paleness of his face, his hand over his abdomen, the way his expression looked both frightened and tired, that told Lovino everything he needed to know as he watched him slump against the doorframe.

 


End file.
